Anger, Hostility and Violent Behaviour


Anger is a normal human emotion. Everyone feels angry sometimes and that is okay. Here are some common reasons why people get angry:

  • A partner, coworker, family member, friend, or stranger says or does something that is upsetting.
  • A person worries a lot about personal problems or thinks too much about past negative experiences.
  • A person has a very bad emotional experience, such as the death of someone close to them.

Hostility and Violent Behaviour

Hostility is being ready for a fight all the time. Hostile people are often stubborn, impatient, hotheaded, or have a bad attitude. They often get in fights or say they feel like hitting something or someone. Hostility can seriously damage any relationship.

Violent behavior often starts with verbal threats or minor incidents, but over time, it can involve physical harm. Violence is dangerous and breaks relationships apart. Violent behaviour can put people in trouble with the law.

People deal with anger in different ways. Some are healthier than others.

  • A healthy way to deal with anger is to express angry feelings without saying something mean or doing something hurtful. Speak up for your feelings without being pushy or demanding. Say what you feel calmly and respectfully.
  • An unhealthy way to deal with anger is to bottle it up, and to hold onto angry feelings. Sometimes anger builds and become overwhelming.

This anger can interfere with relationships, daily activities, and overall health and wellbeing.

Part of dealing with anger is being able to identify that feeling. This means slowing everything down, controlling behaviour, and paying attention to how the body reacts. To start, take three deep breaths, Then slowly count to ten  without saying or doing anything. Most of the time, your heartbeat slows down, you feel calmer, and more in control. Your anger is not in control of you. Once you are calm, it is still helpful to talk about your feelings.

If you have something important to say, find time to talk when you are calm and not distracted. For more information, visit the page about Relationships.