Anger is a normal human emotion and everyone feels angry some of the time. Anger has many causes:
- You may be angry at a specific person like a coworker, family member or even a stranger.
- It could be something they said or something they did or even something they didn’t do.
- Your anger could also be caused by worrying about personal problems, memories of abuse or being bullied.
- The death of someone close to you can also cause angry feelings.
People use a variety of ways to deal with their angry feelings. The three main ways people deal with anger are:
- “Suppressing”, and
Expressing your angry feelings without saying something nasty or doing something hurtful is probably the healthiest way to get rid of your anger. You need to speak up for your feelings without being pushy or demanding. Say what you feel but be respectful.
Suppressing anger happens when you “stuff” your angry feelings. People who do that don’t think about their feelings and try to do something else. This is not a good idea. Your anger is still there inside you. Anger that stays stuffed inside you is unhealthy. Usually people who are saying nasty things about others, criticizing everything, and making nasty comments haven't learned how to deal with their anger. So it’s no surprise that they often have problems keeping friends or a partner.
Calming down is another thing you can do when you get angry. This means taking control of your behavior and paying attention to how your body is reacting to your angry feelings. This starts with slowing everything down. To “calm down” start by taking three deep breaths. Then slowly count to ten without saying or doing anything. You’ll be amazed. Most of the time you will find you feel your heart beats slow down, you will feel calmer and you will be more in control. Your anger will not be in control of you.